5th grade teacher: Today for our celebrity Spelling Bee we have a special guest, class...please welcome the members of Good Charlotte!!!

::Class applauds as Joel, Benji, Billy and Paul enter room::

Teacher: ::glances at Paul nervously:: AHEM, then we have this gay por homeless dud who drums for Wakefield...

Aaron: ::nervously looks away when he realizes no one's clapping:: uh...hey you guys...

Voice in back of class: you suck!!!

Teacher: AHEM!! stop that Johnny! just cuz Aaron lives off of welfare and wastes our taxes doesn't mean we have the right to pick on him...

Johnny: Yes it does!! He's poor!!

Teacher: um..moving along...so, tell me what you do for a living...

Joel: omg, bizzotch, yo ass krazzee!!! I bust out mad flowz for GC and pimp da hoes to support Billy's $800 a day crack habit!!!

Teacher: ::a little concerned:: um...Mr. Combs....

Joel: BIZZOTCH!!!! you call me by my last name ONE MORE TYME, Ima  bust a cap in yo fat white ass!!!

Teacher: Benji! please tell your brother to stop using unacceptable language in my classro..um..Benji

::sees Benji in the back of the class making out wit lou::

Teacher: OH MY GAWD!! Dear lord!! Mr. Benji get your hands OFF that child!! She's only 10 years old!!

Benji: ahhhh sheit! but she told me she was 18!! ::pouts::

Teacher: anyways! mr.billy...um. where are you billy?

Joel: ahh sheit! da skinny bizzotch done turned sideways again!! Billy! get cho white ass out here!

::spots billy in the back of classroom petting a hamster and holding it to his ear::

Billy: hey squeaky..uh huh..ok..::surprised:: whats that?! you wanna be free? ok squeaky! lets do this!

::billy runs over to classroom window, opens it, and hurls the hamster out::

Billy: bye squeaky!! fly, FLY far FAR away!!

::classroom quiets down. everyone hears the helpless squeaking of a hamster, then a SQUISH as it's tender body hits the ground below. it gives one final squeak as it dies..::

Billy: ::looks out window, then breaks down and cries:: Oh my gawd!! I killed squeaky!! it's all my fault!! oh well!! I least I still have this...::pats pocket:: OH GAWD where's mah crack!! noooooooo!!!!!

::billy hurls himself out the same window...THUD as his skinny bony ass hit the ground::

Billy: ow, that shit hurt yo ::climbs back thru window, looks around embarrassed:: uh..so..anyways....wut...um...wut...wuz going on?

::Aaron in the back stealing snacks from the kid's lunchboxes::

Teacher: ::sigh:: ::muttering:: what a bunch of lunatics.....

Paul: dude no one told me that the janitor was gay! dude I wanna go to school here!

Teacher: OK!! enough! lets get on with the speling bee, so they can send you friggin' morons back to the faility!

Joel: yo, wut did I tell yo white ass bizzotch!? i aint no fuckin moron, you mutha...

::Paul grabs Joel's ass::

Joel: faggot, get OFF me!! I aint like dat G! I don't told yo fruity ass!!DIZZAM!!!

::Paul runs over to a far corner in embarrassment::

Joel: ANYWAYZ! beotch, get cho gay ass sheit ova wit so I can go pimp dese trix fo $80 bux an hour, ya heard?!

Teacher: oh dear lord...::takes out cards:: ok, billy, you first, spell "happiness"

Billy: ::thinx for a minute:: "h-a-p" um...uh..."piness"

Benji: dude! you didn't spell the whole word! you just spelled "hap" then said "piness"

Billy: I know!!!!I KNOW!! I'm illiterate!!! WHAAAA!!! ::sniffle:: I didn't even finish high school!! ::whipering:: I just sed I did so I would look like a BIG BOI! ::smiles contently::

Teacher: um, ok...this kid OBVIOSLY has some issues. ok, Joel...spell "dog"

Joel: thaz easy teach...DOG "b-i-z-z-i-o-t-c-h" DOG

Teacher: uh,,that is INCORRECT  Joel....

Joel: naw bitch, dont make me bust out mah thugs on yo fat ass..damn mutha...

Benji: Shut up Joel! you dumbass! THIS is how you spell it...DOG "r-u-f-f" DOG

Joel: Naw B, you's da dumbass! daz how dem bitches sound!! Aaaaah yea, sucka!!! ::breaks into song:: WHO LET DA DOGZ OUT!!!!! ::ruff ruff ruff::

::classroom barks in unison with him::

Teacher: ok! MOVING ON! Joel, that was wrong.....

::Joel mumbles cuss words to himself::

Teacher: Benji, spell "DAD"

Benji: ooooh, thaz easy! "d-i-c-k"

Teacher: uh, that is incor...

Joel: NO! NO! it's spelled "l-a-z-y-b-i-t-c-h-w-h-o-d-o-n-t-p-a-y-c-h-i-l-d-s-u-p-p-o-r-t" you stoopid white boi

Benji: damn Joel, don't be so hard on dad! he only tried to rape us twice!! well, YOU three times, but me just twice! ::smiles happily::

Teacher: oh my gawd!! you guys are scary as hell!!!

::Aaron comes back, pocket stuffed with teddy grahams and fruit roll-ups::

Teacher: um, Aaron....are those our Snack Tyme Snackies!?

Aaron: uh..no..I've...um.. always had these!!

Teacher: err..ok..um. so Aaron...spell the word "homeless"

Aaron: hey that shit aint funny!!! what's a brotha gotta do to earn so respect round here?! I only get food stamps twice a week! I mean, come on!!!

Teacher: ::sigh:: obviously, this isn't going anywhere

::teacher looks down::

Teacher: oh my gawd! billy just took a shit on the floor!! holy fuck, I quit!!!

::teacher runs out of classroom and sees Paul and the janitor making out in the broom closet...::

END